Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Today's Insight

Today's Insight

It seems like everyday brings a new adventure, and new insight. There are days that I appreciate this, and days I do not.

This afternoon I met an internet friend from my Pug Group...she is from Healdsburg and is staying in Sacramento while her pug is undergoing testing/procedures at UC Davis. We spent this afternoon and evening getting to know each other...she is a writer, and photographer...as well as someone who is married to someone she obviously loves very much, is in a happy relationship with, she glows in her own skin...something I dare to hope in quiet moments could be in my future...and something I have taken special care to screw up...up to this point...withdrawing and flight have become my self protective strategy, and now that I have figured this out, I am charting a new route.

One thing I have struggled with is how someone I loved had what appeared to be many "rules" around "things"...this afternoon it gobsmacked me that the very behavior I found difficult was mirrored by me...though my "rules" centered around how a "relationship" was to be conducted...perhaps a toll of a previous experience that was unpleasant and difficult. It feels great to have finally figured this out...and hopeful that I can do better next time...

This is a picture I took Sunday afternoon, as I drove alone looking for that one shot that would make it better...this barn did that to a point...though not a complete "cigar"...

The future is a mystical thing...and it is said it can be whatever you make it. Next on the agenda...what DO I want...and am I brave enough to make it happen...

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