Mondays can be Challenging

Mondays can be Challenging

Luckily I have learned this, and usually begin bracing sometime Sunday...depending on what my Blackberry records as the number of essential appointments.

I drove today, and as always...driving aligns my thoughts...or rearranges them into a jig-jag. I thought about what my time will look like once my next round of decisions are made. I have spent so much time this past year debating, making and reviewing decisions... there are still several large ones to go...and then...I am thinking the focus can shift...and the many things that interest me will become what flows though my mind...

What will my new "home" be like...and will it be the first time in my life I feel bonded to a space? What would it take for me to be stationary...living in a certain space most moments, not flying off to the next airport, the next presentation, the next meeting, the next Facility...and working at a job within a commutable space...and painting. As seems to be the rule...today yielded many more questions than answers...

After all of this thought...and the door I think I forgot to lock, the final task today was to purchase a bathing suit. I am not one to frustrate myself...and at one time (16-27) I enjoyed purchasing and wearing a bikini. While I know I am my own worst critic...there is nothing fun about taking an honest look at what 53 years, 2 children, an unmarriage, gravity, and life in general have done...though I must say...the experience did not look as bad in the dressing room mirror as it did in my head...and then I remembered...I cannot see clearly without my glasses, and those were in the car...

I took this picture of the clouds today...which I am beginning to enjoy as much as rust and doors...


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Tuesday before Christmas

Tuesday before Christmas
A friend from PugVillage gave me a mug this year with the above statement...it speaks to me, and describes the past 6 months of my life as I search for the direction of my dreams...and pray for the courage and clarity to execute my life.
I finished my shopping today, which I have put off until the last possible minute. I was gob-smacked at the Art Store today...minding my own business and seeing a gift for that called up a memory that most days I have put to rest...funny how what is healthy, and what is like a magnet are rarely the same thing...thank God I have figured that out...
Friday I leave for Philadelphia. It is the first Christmas that my son is not "home"...so I will see him there. He is a December baby, and so much emotion is tied up in how sick he was before and at birth, and how lucky we are that he is healthy, making his way, and succeeding with his life. In many ways it seems like yesterday that he born...took his first steps, scored his first soccer goal, got into his first car accident, etc...now I will be visiting him in his City, his loft, and sharing his adult life...hard to believe I have arrived, here....

The Door to ?

The Door to ?
I saw this door today at the B. Sakato Gallery. It was a small garden which held a pond (with rumored hibernating turtle) and many really interesting plants. The door was interesting as it was set against a wall and did not go anywhere...not the usual function of a door.
When I first saw the door, it reminded me of my life...I am at a juncture with a new door...and what is behind it I am not sure, but am hopeful that it is what I am looking for....
Actually, this was also a great idea to combine with the metal vents for my next back yard...something I am looking forward to designing...