Choices

Choices

Life is abundantly full of choices...those that are right and healthy...in a move your life forward kind of way, those that are comfortable as you are familiar with them, those that bring you joy, those that you keep hoping that if you just try a little harder/wait a little longer will bring you the safe and warm space we all seek.  

Then there are the unhealthy choices, that feel good a minute here and there...the ones you can hear your Mother admonish you for, the ones you do not freely share with your friends and family...you cannot...the ones that even you cannot explain to yourself...at night...alone...in the peace of the darkness.  

Lastly there are choices that once made, continue to have reverberations though out your life...for the rest of your life.  At this stage of my game, I only have several of those left...and I love them.  

This is a photograph of my Father and my Grandson, one of many I took last weekend...a nice example of reverberation...spanning 4 Generations...and proof that Choice is a great thing... 

Today's Reflection

Today's Reflection

I am grateful to have a space I feel safe and warm in.  Growing up I was shuffled between two households...very dissimilar...neither peaceful.  As a young to mid adult...I did have a beautiful space...though the hustle and bustle of raising a family did not leave time to enjoy it to its potential...and by the time things quieted down it was too late.  I once dabbled in living in someone elses' space...that did not last long as there were too many rules...and I am not good at not having a voice and constantly having to ask permission

High on my priority list is to find a space that suits me, belongs to me, and has a bit of a forever feel. Today...work is flexible with where I live...so that is a battle thankfully I do not have to factor in.  I have thoughts about finances...does it make sense to buy at my age...will a lender find me worthy...and should I take the plunge and "move" to somewhere I have not lived before...am I brave enough to cast caution to the wind and really "start over"?   Is my big-girl thong orange enough to make me believe I can do it?

This is a picture I shot last week in Boston.  It is the reflection of visitors at the Museum of Modern Art...which has a viewing section on the second floor that is large enough to accommodate me, the pugs and some necessary living items, perhaps we could be on display and our life viewed as "Art".

Modern Art has a special place in my heart...it was in DC years ago that I first visited a MOMA, and was treated to a large gray canvas with a smashed beer can attached to the middle...I knew in a split second that I was at least that gifted.  Guess I should add finding a curator who prefers abstract photography, painting and fused glass over a smashed Bud Light to my current life list...wish me luck...

How I Have Missed You...

Blogging...How I Have Missed You...

I have said it before, and I am guessing it will come up again...I miss writing.  Absence can be attributed to several factors...feelings that should not be documented in black and white...the busy-ness of my life...and the ongoing struggle of what is best for me versus what I am drawn to and miss in my life...some things are better left unsaid...and hopefully my heart will catch up with my brain at some point, or I will discover the location of the on/off switch that controls my heart.

Family...and true friends...the glue that holds me together.  I am firmly back with my children...I took a brief detour that never felt right to me...though that was required at the time to stay in a place that was not healthy...still...I allowed it.  There is nothing like the history, love, joy and acceptance of a family...a lesson learned that I will not forget.

This is a picture of my son, his girlfriend and me.  Several days of non stop laughing...at things that on a normal day I would not find funny...shared with some of the Worlds' finest human beings.  It is an amazing moment to see the success of your children...my son has found himself...and after several difficult lessons (we all have them) is partnered with his perfect match...it is wonderful to watch how they care for each other and the value and joy they bring to each others life...well done son...tonight I raise my glass to you and thank God for the lovely person you are...I am so proud of you...and I love you....

Finding My Way

Finding My Way...

I continue to be amazed at how much of this World I still am interested in exploring.  I cast my first torso in glass last week, and am crafting a rescued piece of screen into a ballgown that will dress my first metal sculpture, and contain a fused glass face.  I went a bit overboard on a painting I have been molding the past month...night painting is always a gamble, and in this case I won!

I now co-own a kiln, and am working with an artist who can read directions and implement them...I on the other hand like to figure it out...and secretly throw out the extra pieces...which he thinks is cute!

This is a picture I took the last time I was in Philly...pink roses in a bucket on the side of the street.  That was a pivotal trip for me...as are most to Philly...I came home with a new sense of hope...and a rocking tattoo...who knew!?

Revolutionary Evolution

 

Revolutionary Evolution

One bit of advice that I keep coming back to in my life is from my Sister.  She had told me 3 years ago that if I was not clear on what I wanted...I would not find it...sounds obvious...though at the time it struck me like a lightening bolt.

Flash forward 3 years, and I think I finally am clear...and may have accidentally found the match to my criteria...another "who knew...I shall see"

 I woke up at 4 am this morning...which seems to be my pattern...same thoughts, same dreams...and once again I reminded myself that I am not content living in the hopes, dreams and disappointments of the past...instead I want to live in the hopes, dreams and possibilities of right now...with someone who is willing to join me and play full out...I have been cautioned to be careful what I wish for! 

This is a picture I took over New Year's in Monterrey...and like tomorrow...I am not sure what it is...just that I am liking it! 

Etc...and Second Saturday

 

Etc...and Second Saturday

I no longer have the dream of becoming an artist...I AM an artist...a pretty dynamic realization and statement...a pretty fabulous place to be in my life.

I was reminded once again this week how fragile life is and how quickly your focused hopes and dreams can change.  A friend of mine was diagnosed with late stage multiple myeloma and is now fighting for her life...and dramatic change from her daily routine of caring for others and serving her God.

This is a picture I took on the Coast while celebrating the promise of 2011.  I love the colors, the "faces" in the rock and the memory of the sun warming my face during the few minutes of cloudless sky.

I was offered, and accepted a Second Saturday spot this Spring.  Someone besides myself likes my work!  So now I have several months to pull it together...though my perspective is that the show will be by me, for me and about me...no pressure...just fun and a different venue to appreciate the gift of my health, happiness and life...

Words

Words

Why I cannot just let them play in my head and then drift off...why I am compelled to spell them out...why it is getting more difficult to discern between them...I do not know...  I would like to get over some of them... and am struggling to do so...perhaps I need to move to the East and take a vow of silence...

I can see the value in taking some time off of what is my current regular life and just letting these words tumble out...it would be interesting to see what would be left inside me if that happened...and what would be the right path to travel down after they were emptied...

This picture is one I took recently that is almost a duplicate of one I/we had previously shot.  I love the colors, and the symbolism of shit running thru perfectly good rust and peeling paint...kind of like this life...lots of perfectly good stuff...garnished by some beautifully laid excrement...