Photothree65

Choices

2011-08-25T13:45:00.000-07:00

Choices

Life is abundantly full of choices...those that are right and healthy...in a move your life forward kind of way, those that are comfortable as you are familiar with them, those that bring you joy, those that you keep hoping that if you just try a little harder/wait a little longer will bring you the safe and warm space we all seek.

Then there are the unhealthy choices, that feel good a minute here and there...the ones you can hear your Mother admonish you for, the ones you do not freely share with your friends and family...you cannot...the ones that even you cannot explain to yourself...at night...alone...in the peace of the darkness.

Lastly there are choices that once made, continue to have reverberations though out your life...for the rest of your life. At this stage of my game, I only have several of those left...and I love them.

This is a photograph of my Father and my Grandson, one of many I took last weekend...a nice example of reverberation...spanning 4 Generations...and proof that Choice is a great thing...

Today's Reflection

2011-04-09T14:21:00.000-07:00

Today's Reflection

I am grateful to have a space I feel safe and warm in. Growing up I was shuffled between two households...very dissimilar...neither peaceful. As a young to mid adult...I did have a beautiful space...though the hustle and bustle of raising a family did not leave time to enjoy it to its potential...and by the time things quieted down it was too late. I once dabbled in living in someone elses' space...that did not last long as there were too many rules...and I am not good at not having a voice and constantly having to ask permission

High on my priority list is to find a space that suits me, belongs to me, and has a bit of a forever feel. Today...work is flexible with where I live...so that is a battle thankfully I do not have to factor in. I have thoughts about finances...does it make sense to buy at my age...will a lender find me worthy...and should I take the plunge and "move" to somewhere I have not lived before...am I brave enough to cast caution to the wind and really "start over"? Is my big-girl thong orange enough to make me believe I can do it?

This is a picture I shot last week in Boston. It is the reflection of visitors at the Museum of Modern Art...which has a viewing section on the second floor that is large enough to accommodate me, the pugs and some necessary living items, perhaps we could be on display and our life viewed as "Art".

Modern Art has a special place in my heart...it was in DC years ago that I first visited a MOMA, and was treated to a large gray canvas with a smashed beer can attached to the middle...I knew in a split second that I was at least that gifted. Guess I should add finding a curator who prefers abstract photography, painting and fused glass over a smashed Bud Light to my current life list...wish me luck...

How I Have Missed You...

2011-04-07T21:48:00.000-07:00

Blogging...How I Have Missed You...

I have said it before, and I am guessing it will come up again...I miss writing. Absence can be attributed to several factors...feelings that should not be documented in black and white...the busy-ness of my life...and the ongoing struggle of what is best for me versus what I am drawn to and miss in my life...some things are better left unsaid...and hopefully my heart will catch up with my brain at some point, or I will discover the location of the on/off switch that controls my heart.

Family...and true friends...the glue that holds me together. I am firmly back with my children...I took a brief detour that never felt right to me...though that was required at the time to stay in a place that was not healthy...still...I allowed it. There is nothing like the history, love, joy and acceptance of a family...a lesson learned that I will not forget.

This is a picture of my son, his girlfriend and me. Several days of non stop laughing...at things that on a normal day I would not find funny...shared with some of the Worlds' finest human beings. It is an amazing moment to see the success of your children...my son has found himself...and after several difficult lessons (we all have them) is partnered with his perfect match...it is wonderful to watch how they care for each other and the value and joy they bring to each others life...well done son...tonight I raise my glass to you and thank God for the lovely person you are...I am so proud of you...and I love you....

Finding My Way

2011-02-19T17:40:00.000-08:00

Finding My Way...

I continue to be amazed at how much of this World I still am interested in exploring. I cast my first torso in glass last week, and am crafting a rescued piece of screen into a ballgown that will dress my first metal sculpture, and contain a fused glass face. I went a bit overboard on a painting I have been molding the past month...night painting is always a gamble, and in this case I won!

I now co-own a kiln, and am working with an artist who can read directions and implement them...I on the other hand like to figure it out...and secretly throw out the extra pieces...which he thinks is cute!

This is a picture I took the last time I was in Philly...pink roses in a bucket on the side of the street. That was a pivotal trip for me...as are most to Philly...I came home with a new sense of hope...and a rocking tattoo...who knew!?

Revolutionary Evolution

2011-01-25T15:06:00.000-08:00

Revolutionary Evolution

One bit of advice that I keep coming back to in my life is from my Sister. She had told me 3 years ago that if I was not clear on what I wanted...I would not find it...sounds obvious...though at the time it struck me like a lightening bolt.

Flash forward 3 years, and I think I finally am clear...and may have accidentally found the match to my criteria...another "who knew...I shall see"

I woke up at 4 am this morning...which seems to be my pattern...same thoughts, same dreams...and once again I reminded myself that I am not content living in the hopes, dreams and disappointments of the past...instead I want to live in the hopes, dreams and possibilities of right now...with someone who is willing to join me and play full out...I have been cautioned to be careful what I wish for!

This is a picture I took over New Year's in Monterrey...and like tomorrow...I am not sure what it is...just that I am liking it!

Etc...and Second Saturday

2011-01-15T09:40:00.000-08:00

Etc...and Second Saturday

I no longer have the dream of becoming an artist...I AM an artist...a pretty dynamic realization and statement...a pretty fabulous place to be in my life.

I was reminded once again this week how fragile life is and how quickly your focused hopes and dreams can change. A friend of mine was diagnosed with late stage multiple myeloma and is now fighting for her life...and dramatic change from her daily routine of caring for others and serving her God.

This is a picture I took on the Coast while celebrating the promise of 2011. I love the colors, the "faces" in the rock and the memory of the sun warming my face during the few minutes of cloudless sky.

I was offered, and accepted a Second Saturday spot this Spring. Someone besides myself likes my work! So now I have several months to pull it together...though my perspective is that the show will be by me, for me and about me...no pressure...just fun and a different venue to appreciate the gift of my health, happiness and life...

Words

2011-01-11T14:34:00.000-08:00

Words

Why I cannot just let them play in my head and then drift off...why I am compelled to spell them out...why it is getting more difficult to discern between them...I do not know... I would like to get over some of them... and am struggling to do so...perhaps I need to move to the East and take a vow of silence...

I can see the value in taking some time off of what is my current regular life and just letting these words tumble out...it would be interesting to see what would be left inside me if that happened...and what would be the right path to travel down after they were emptied...

This picture is one I took recently that is almost a duplicate of one I/we had previously shot. I love the colors, and the symbolism of shit running thru perfectly good rust and peeling paint...kind of like this life...lots of perfectly good stuff...garnished by some beautifully laid excrement...

Friday

2010-08-13T17:45:00.000-07:00

Friday

This last week has been a whirlwind...work, a trip to Philly to enjoy time with my Son and meet "the One"...sleeping in...running every morning...brunch...dinner and drinks with great people...and navigating Philly with some confidence.

One of many fabulous things about Philly is that shoes and clothes do not require the addition of tax during the purchase transaction. Head Start Shoes is heaven on earth, and the Rittenhouse Rescue Spa truly knows how to perform a facial.

This is a picture I shot of a window in the Rittenhouse Square area of town. I liked the way the drapes...were draped...there is a feel in the air in Philly...one of excitement and perhaps contentment...I think about relocating...and am evaluating my level of courage...hmmmm....

Great Things Come in 2's...

2010-08-03T20:35:00.000-07:00

Great Things Come in 2's

Giovanni is growing in leaps and bounds. Holding him is an experience unknown to me until now...and watching him learn about his now limited World is so interesting. Earlier this week he guided his walker down the hallway, occasionally getting caught up against the wall, and able to push himself away...back into the line of "traffic"... his face just beaming...

This is a picture I took this week of him, and his lovely Mother...they are quite the pair. I admire how she enjoys every minute with him...as I know, though the chaos of child rearing never seems to end..."some day" it will suddenly be over...and you are left with memories...and hopefully gifted with a Grandchild...

Boy Meets Horse!

2010-08-01T15:07:00.000-07:00

Boy Meets Horse!

Today is Giovanni's 8 month "Birthday"! We celebrated by taking him to the barn, and introducing him to our friend's horses! He loved the softness, and the manes...and actually took a brief ride supported by his Mom and Samantha.

This is my favorite picture of the series...taken in the barn, after his ride! Perhaps we will be seeing him in a Lead Line Class towards the end of the year!

Saturday

2010-07-31T19:09:00.000-07:00

Saturday = No Pictures Today!

So I took a ride tonight in search of today's perfect picture. I decided that the old Rail Yard suited my need for some rust... I was re-routed because of some type of an "old car rally" that closed many of the downtown streets...tax payer dollars at their finest as the Highway Patrol and City of Sac Police waived me on...

I am really not sure how to gain access to the Rail Yard...I saw from a distance the gorgeous rust and imperfect buildings...probably not a place to investigate on my own...though I may try again tomorrow...

Gene Pool

2010-07-27T20:37:00.000-07:00

Gene Pool

Okay...so this has nothing to do with my day, my life, my dreams...

This is a picture from (again) the Zoo...the Handlers attached branches of leaves to poles so that we, the observers, could watch the Giraffes' eat. This guy was pretty cute...and I after today I am wondering about the specifics of his "pool"...

Fractured

2010-07-26T20:37:00.000-07:00

Fractured

Reminds me of a femur, ulna, radius or heart...some days your personality, or your views in general. Great thing that the World still turns, and hope still springs eternal.

I am one of the luckiest people in the World! Tomorrow my Father turns 83 years old. He is the one person who despite all screw ups and odds has loved me every day of my life...no matter how imperfect I am, or how I think, behave or conduct my life. A true gift, and one I attempt to apply to my children and grandchild...though following in his footsteps requires a boot several sizes larger than I possess.

This is another picture from the Zoo series...another that reminded me of China...it is a window of an old car under renovation...that has not made it to the top of the list...and another shot that I have taken that when I walk away...draws crowds that wander over to see what was shot worthy...and fail to understand...oh well, maybe next time...

Sunday

2010-07-25T12:34:00.000-07:00

Sunday

Awe...the fabulous-ness of Sunday...time flies when I am goofing around on the computer!

Yesterday and this morning I met my goal of cleaning out my walk in closet...and guess what...I can now walk in! And I am one step closer to my next step! Yeah me!!!

I considered posting a picture of my closet...though this photo won out. It is from my Zoo shoot earlier this week...and is a view of the side wall where the engine in this car is housed! I shot it at an odd angle...while several car enthusiasts watched me...then asked what the heck I was doing...an explanation that does not exist, how can you explain something as beautiful and fascinating as this!

Friday

2010-07-23T22:13:00.000-07:00

Friday

Okay...I am a day off for the photo...though today was productive and held an invitation to dinner with my lovely daughter, grandson and baby daddy (!)

I bought boxes, tape and marking pens today...and am beginning my journey of getting down to the brass tacks of cleaning out and making way for my future. How did I accumulate so many things over the past 28 years...and how many of them do I really need in my coming life...the next couple of weeks should be interesting.

This is a picture I shot last night at the Zoo...a perfect headlight of one of the display cars. If you look carefully, you can see my reflection within the headlight...a style of pictures that I have come to enjoy creating.

I am content to be making forward progress, and am looking forward to were my journey will take me...hopefully somewhere nice!

It's All Happening At The Zoo...

2010-07-22T21:51:00.000-07:00

It's All Happening At The Zoo...

Shades of Simon and Garfunkle...Twilight at the Zoo was hopping tonight...great band, great antique cars, great friends and a perfect shot of the rear end of a Flamingo.

Funny how there are gifts within every day...I am learning to watch and learn...and see what is there instead of what I think should be there...

It was nice to meet a new friend, and bump into an old friend today...and I must say...I love this Flamingo rear...they are such beautiful birds...and the feathers are "remarkable impressive" ... a twist on today's perfect quote!

Shock and Awe...well...Not Really...

2010-07-21T17:21:00.000-07:00

Shock and Awe...Well...Not Really...

I know myself pretty well, and most days I can see the writing on the wall. Today was no exception...some fabulous hours, not a surprise...though the bottom line of what it all means continues to be clear as mud to me.

I was advised last week by a friend to "live in the moment"...I think I do that now more than I ever have...though that is still not my most comfy space...and I think that I need a "deeper" meaning...

This is a picture I took at the Sacramento Ice House several months ago. It has a special meaning and I love the colors...and there it is...that "love" word again...

Lady Bug

2010-07-20T21:31:00.000-07:00

Lady Bug

I have had moments of feeling like I am in the middle of a hornet's nest the past few weeks. I can hear the whining and the buzzing...and it compels me to close my eyes and wait for the sting.

Since I am lacking a photo of hornets, I randomly remembered one of my favorites from a long wandering drive along the Sacramento River last Spring, where I stopped and shot in the drizzle time and time again.

These two were enjoying themselves on the side of the road...frankly, I was a bit envious...I have grayed out the background with a new iPad App...and am pretty pleased with how the bugs pop! ... must be nice ...

Something I Had Forgotten About...

2010-07-19T17:23:00.000-07:00

Something I Had Forgotten About...

When I first became single, I spent time looking for symbols and words that would help me make sense of hours in the days and nights. One of the first things I bought was an antique stained glass window that I had intended to relocate to my "home" ... once I found it.

Nearly three years later, the window has graced several corners of my old/current home ... and along with me, has not quite found its way into our future! Today as I was once again gazed at the window while conference calling, I noticed the beautiful corner rich with peeling paint and a bit of rust (pictured above)...and somehow the day just got better!

When Someone...

2010-07-18T15:03:00.000-07:00

When Someone...

I have a thick skull...something that sometimes serves me well and other times does not. A recent friend of mine has a saying..."When someone shows you who they, believe them..." though I love the saying, and really do "get" it...I am not good at this...

I think it is the "nurse" part of me that never believes that I cannot "fix"
it. Today I am considering switching careers!

This is a picture I took in Unionville...where things are simple, quiet and lovely...something I am hoping to recreate in my everyday life...soon...

White Knight

2010-07-17T09:28:00.000-07:00

White Knight

I struggle to get enough rust in my life to fill the void that requires it. As some souls need music, my soul needs rust...makes me wonder what my Mother ate, drank, or breathed while I was in utero...perhaps it is a latent response to the lead paint I was exposed to as a child!

This is another picture from the past few months...that menopause has erased the details of from my memory. I like that is fluctuates between appearing as a horse head to the vague resemblance of a knight. In a perfect World this is what MY knight would look like...simply beautiful with rust around the edges...

My Daughter is a Quarter of a Century Old!

2010-07-16T12:36:00.000-07:00

My Daughter is a Quarter of a Century Old!

Today marks the 25th Birthday of my daughter. I clearly remember the shock and awe of finding out I was pregnant again, and the joy of seeing her slide out of me. Raising her was a challenge...which made me a stronger woman and Mom.

As I think back to our days of sharing the love of Elvis, the year her soccer team was not scored on due to her aggressive back field play and the day I carried her off the field with a broken foot while she screamed at the top of her lungs "I want to go back in!", her fabulous friends who I still admire, several days of "makeovers!" and the years that her back did not support her, I am greatful to have been so blessed and gifted with Laur.

This is a picture I took during a wonderful day at Mare Island. I have found that I see "faces" in places I would not expect or would have seen them several years ago. I do see differently now than I did before, and that is one of the many gifts that have come out of the past several years...and I look forward to sharing this view with my future...

Blogging

2010-07-15T17:22:00.001-07:00

Blogging

Words are piling up, and have had no where to go ... so today as I sat in the Little Rock Airport it struck me that resuming this blog that talks to myself would be a great thing to do.

Gears have shifted and projects are left in limbo. Luckily, my mind is never short on ideas ... so the two on the front burner will be a nice distraction over the next few weeks.

First on the agenda ... clean up my old dirt ... and secure a "home" ... if I can pull this off, even I will be impressed with myself.

This is a picture that I am unsure of its location ... I am thinking Mare Island ... though perhaps I am off ... regardless ... I like the upward view ...

New Man Around the House

2010-04-08T20:48:00.000-07:00

New Man Around the House

The testosterone is growing in small leaps and bounds. After a full day of T & D (parent talk for Trauma and Drama...coined by my friend Barbara) ... Super G and his lovely Mother now are once again residents of my house...leaving the entire space a bit crowded. I must admit that he smells amazing, is cute as a button, shows off a newly learned behavior everyday and can vomit like no other ... still it feels a bit foreign and at the same time is a real memory jogger of my days gone by.

This is a picture I took this afternoon as he was "settling in" ... wouldn't it be nice to go back in time to the day when drinking warm milk, being held, and asking for dry pants were the only things on your plate....ahhh....the simple life!

Cereal

2010-04-05T21:34:00.001-07:00

Cereal

Another day, another milestone in the life of Giovanni...today he was introduced to the fabulous World of "cereal"...two bites to be exact...and being the Bubba Chunk he is...he loved it!

It is funny to watch him change everyday...I don't remember my own children waking up different..though I think I was just too exhausted to notice.

This is a picture I took yesterday, as the Easter festivities were in full swing. Giovanni is super strong, and in this pose he is standing on Laur's lap..."jumping" up and down.

I am so happy to be living in the age of point, shoot and send...I cannot imagine missing one second of this very fascinating adventure...called "Grandma"...

Easter

2010-04-04T19:55:00.001-07:00

Easter

Another Holiday, another disappointment I have hidden from the World. Yesterday I was preparing to move, had hired movers, ordered phone service and was fairly well packed. Today I am stationary...broken hearted...and breathing through the moment, and deciding where to live.

I was told that my feelings mattered, and openness was easy...last night, my feelings did not matter, and openness was closed. This has been ongoing...and more than I are tired of the outcome, which has been unsuccessful partnership...without roots to carry one through the difficult times...no documentation, no promises of the future, no proposed commitment or intention...feelings undisclosed, and persons unwilling to share the deepest feelings and thoughts...due to fear and rejection...a true self fulfilling cycle...we both loose.

Today was Easter, and sparkliness was the word of the day. Time spent with my Father, 1st Stepmother, 2nd Stepmother, daughter and perfect grandson...priceless...this is a picture I took of my Father and his Great Grandson...truly a gift from God.

Somewhere or possibly nowhere is someone who will love me and be open in spite of sickness, health, employment, depression, whim or a bad hair day...or perhaps there is not...I am praying that the rawness of yesterday is manageable soon...and that I can move on to the next big adventure...wish me luck.

Life on the Road

2010-04-02T20:32:00.001-07:00

Life on the Road

Funny that you learn when you are not really paying attention. Last week on yet another road trip as I was brainstorming with a colleague, she shared with me that she had directed 2 other colleagues to "pack that shit up in a suitcase and bury it in the desert." At the time, I found that directive hysterically funny...and did not understand that this was some really meaningful advice.

I have a need for conversation and understanding...this week I have come to understand that some things are not "conversible" (my word), and/or understandable. This has been difficult for me...and I have had a bit of trouble adjusting...

So...I have spent several hours this week packing up my shit...and burying it. Now that it is "gone"...I do feel better...

This is a picture I took earlier this week while exploring the Ice House, which I will miss when they mow it down in the name of progress...

Ice House

2010-04-01T11:26:00.000-07:00

Ice House

Some of the most difficult situations that I have found myself in are those I have created. That in mind, I have now given myself a pat on the back (great job), a round of applause (what was I thinking) and a swift kick to my backside (get the hell on your way)...and these 3 components have made today better.

Amy had said that "the hardest battle you will ever fight is the battle to be yourself"...and I would translate that to include "learn who you are". Today feels as if that goal may be insight...and I will enjoy this small victory as long as it will last.

This is a picture of the old Ice House, midtown Sacramento. It has been boarded up and closed for years, and will be leveled to make way for a Loft Project in the near future. Old buildings fascinate me, and I enjoy observing their past...

Who Knows What the Day Will Bring?

2010-03-15T22:19:00.000-07:00

Who Knows What the Day Will Bring?

Two days in a row that were not what I could have imagined or hoped for...is this the new trend...and can I be that free and easy?

Last night I was treated to a belated Birthday dinner that included Champagne Cake...my favorite. I was able to hold Giovanni for 30 minutes, and brainstorm my daughters' Monday night College presentation...today held more brainstorming, holding, snuggling, 4 calls from Mogy, massage, interesting conversation, dinner with Virginia, and post day life discussion with Laur...how lucky am I?!

This is one of several pictures of Giovanni I shot this week...and without his parents' permission...I entered him in a Gerber Baby Contest!

Reflections

2010-03-13T16:41:00.001-08:00

Reflections

Some day I may be able to look at something and just see what is there. For now, I look and see what is there, the layers, and a portion of my brain comes up with what it "could" be. While I love the layers, the constant multi-views are tiring...and the to-do list in my head is taller than I am.

This is a picture I shot in New York City last weekend of a building across from Battery Park. I was celebrating my 54th Birthday, a number that seems excessively high to me. I do not feel 54...more like a fabulous 47...though the difference is that I am closer than I have ever been to knowing who I want to be, and what makes me happy .

How it will end up I do not know, though recently I have begun to believe that this phase will never end...and this evolution of seeking the path I am destined for is the new permanent state of my being...and I guess that will keep my remaining time on this fabulous Earth interesting....

If this is Thursday, it must be Philly!

2010-03-04T16:09:00.000-08:00

If this is Thursday, it must be Philly!

Thursday has finally come...and is nearly gone...I am in Philly...seeing my perfect Son, waiting for dinner and looking forward to meeting his new "friend"...

Plane ride was uneventful, a great thing in a plane ride. Upon arrival, I was notified that said Son was in the "cell phone lot"...and a quick call back to say the car was not starting...so charming a taxi driver to find said Son, and jump his Lexus....priceless! Instead of jumper cables...his trunk yielded whiskey...not a bad substitute, though I prefer tequila...

So let the fun begin...this is a picture I took nearly 2 years ago at Eastern State Prison here in Philly...I love the peeling paint and my photos from that trip are among my favorites. Speaking of photos, I finished my Death Valley Book on the plane today, and look forward to sending it off for publication...one more part of my life documented...

Tomorrow I am off to New York City...and looking forward to the photo opportunities and friends there...54 is looking not so bad today...

Twisted Tuesday

2010-03-02T16:45:00.001-08:00

Twisted Tuesday

I am looking forward to the time that I can wake up and have a vague feeling about how my day will start, and how it will end. Though initially I thought this might be boring, I could use a block of time that I did not have to re-engineer constantly.

I am over half way to dead, and that will be emphasized with another number up later this week. Tomorrow I begin my journey to Philly...with hopefully a side trip to NYC...to celebrate.
This new number adds yet another kick in the pants to get my life in order...and damn...just when I was thinking that order was a complete fantasy...

So the question of the day for me is how courageous am I...and how many things am I willing to change at once...all, none, or somewhere in the middle...and how do I decide. Being in charge of your own destiny is both exhilarating and deeply frightening...I am looking forward to seeing myself through...hoping there may be someone on the other side to catch me...

This is a picture I took Sunday on the drive to recreate to photos that went missing in Baltimore. A twisted pile of metal, rust, paint and all over junk...still one of my favorite loves'!

Sunday...

2010-02-28T19:06:00.001-08:00

Sunday...

I am behind again...somewhere I am getting comfy being. The beginning of my week was spent in Baltimore...the roads were clear, the parking lots were piled with snow taller than I...and I know for those who know me you are probably not impressed with the description of height!...all the same, it was amazing to this California Girl...the end of the week was occupied with my MIL having a heart attack, several hours of alone time with Giovanni, and my daughter sharing time with my Father and her son...

Today, I tried to reconstruct the photos that I lost when my G10 went missing in Baltimore. My "system" was off...and I think that the rain and mud in the Logan Steakhouse parking lot claimed my G. I had been shooting down in Hood and Clarksburg on the previous rainy Sunday, and in my haste to pack and set the house, I neglected to download...a mistake I will not make again.

I am now the owner of the G11...by default. I did not realize how much I loved my G10, until I was trying to set the settings on the G11...another one of many electronics that is smarter than I am.

These are my 2 favorites from today...the ladybugs I did not shoot last week, the barn I had. It was interesting to repeat a previous journey...it seemed shorter today...I knew where the exciting views were...and did miss the rhythm of last weeks rain...

Memphis

2010-02-19T18:13:00.001-08:00

Memphis

Rarely do I post 2 pictures in a day...though after being undecided as whether to post one of my Beale Street favorites and the most outrageous view I saw, I decided to go with both. Memphis was unusual, nice people, full of great food though the work was stressful.

Wednesday morning greeted me with a roach in my bathroom, and NO I do not stay at Roach Motels...that should have been a clue as to how the day would go...and in hindsight...it was.

The first picture is one of the Bar buildings on Beale Street...perhaps a want to be New Orleans, though empty at 5 pm. The second is a toilet seat...yes, that is correct a toilet seat in the shape of a guitar...what will they think of next?

Next week is Baltimore, and the following week I will be dining with my Son for my Birthday...priceless...I wonder if I will journey back to Eastern State...I will see.

New and Old

2010-02-12T17:26:00.000-08:00

New and Old

I feel closer to finding my way than perhaps I have ever been. The last days have brought a sense of peace, which I may be disrupting tomorrow...sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do.

This is a picture I shot on the way home from the beach on Wednesday. Again, I have traveled past this barn many times...and this week I was lucky enough to stop and shoot. I love the combination of the new and the old...and wonder if the next time I pass this way if the new door will be painted to match the old red...

The Beach

2010-02-10T20:14:00.000-08:00

The Beach

In between "duties as assigned", I took a side journey with the pugs to the Beach today. They were overjoyed to travel, and pugtona on the sand. We met a man who had 3 pugs, and he said Jack and Hannah were beautiful...who was I to disagree...!!!

There were several sights on the ride to the Beach that I have seen previously, and wanted to photograph. The advantage of traveling alone is that you can start and stop on your schedule...and we did.

This is a picture of an "out" building that I have wanted to see up close and personal. I also met a cat who had seen better days...he or she was not impressed with Jack's chatter...which is intermittent on any car ride...with the exception of a "missed call", a fabulous day...

Baltimore...Canceled

2010-02-08T17:55:00.001-08:00

Baltimore...Canceled

Thanks to Mother Nature and 26 to 30 inches of white wrath...I am grounded for the week. I have decided to take some time and take a journey that has been in the back of my mind for the past 2 weeks...perhaps that will help reconcile some of the challenges I am dealing with...perhaps it will not.

Next week is Memphis, and I am looking forward to getting back on the road, and having a week of distraction...seeing sites that are new...my camera is ready to go!

This is a picture I took yesterday on the way back from Clarksburg...it is similar to a car I shot last year that was a turquoise blue...one of my all time favorites. I loved how it was sitting off in a field on the side of the Roadway...calling my name!

Superbowl Sunday

2010-02-07T19:21:00.001-08:00

Superbowl Sunday

Another day that I had not imagined over the past few months...seems to be the reality of the day...I missed the potential clam dip that might have been copied... Last night was a Rotary Wine Tasting Fundraiser that I volunteered to assist via my PugSavers connection. It was at the Sugar Mill in Clarksburg...somewhere I had been 2 years ago, that involved a visit and lunch at a Biker Bar...last night and today was much more sane...possibly...

Today I took a ride back to the Sugar Mill to take photographs. It is wonderful place filled with my favorite subjects, peeling paint and rust. I am learning to shoot alone...that is a change from the feeling of partnership...and there are some shots that are potentially fabulous that go undone because the risk of navigating the landscape and isolation alone are too risky...there is the concern that no one could hear you scream...

This is a shot of up the back view of the Sugar Mill, I love the view...and that I had bravely navigated several other shots that felt isolated. I am again learning to be a big Girl...and hoping that this will be the last time this exercise is necessary...

Day at the Dog Show

2010-01-31T17:31:00.000-08:00

Day at the Dog Show

January has offered a day at the AKC Benched Dog Show at the Cow Palace the past several years. Usually it is just us "crazy Pug people", and this year I invited Virginia to join our Group. She has shown Great Pyrenees there in the past.

Though there were less vendors than last year, there was some great Art. The pugs showed at 1:45 pm, instead of the former 8:30 am ... so we enjoyed viewing them in the ring.

Two take-away's from today ... I met a fabulous collage artist by the name of Sam Price ... his hair reminded me of a former collegue ... Steve ... and go figure , he was his son ... it was fun to catch up a bit ... and re-live the afternoon Steve and Rex taught me to operate a Drake-Willock dialysis machine ... man-style! The second takeaway was, when at a Dog Show, the expectation is that you will photograph dogs ... not rusty walls! While shooting this shot today, a Pug Man and his pug positioned themselves in front of me completly blocking my shot. Guess they had never seen a woman laying on the floor, camera pointed at perfect metal and rust ... smiling ear to ear ... and thought she was actually DOING something ... I pride myself on not being "ordinary!!"

Rain, Mud and Muck

2010-01-24T12:38:00.001-08:00

Rain, Mud and Muck

It seems as if it has been raining for a very long time...perhaps that is just my perception. The sky remains gray, the ground remains wet and slippery, and for horses the pastures remain mucky.

This is a picture I shot yesterday while touring back roads of my memories...good stuff! I like how the mud adds a dimension of texture and color to the blanket...and I know how much work the owner will invest to clean it...I do...and do not...miss those moments...

Visiting the Past

2010-01-23T15:31:00.000-08:00

Visiting the Past

I took a drive this morning ... curious to see some portions of my past. When Laur was in her early teens we owned a horse. We sold him when she required a spinal fusion to stablize her spine. The 5 years in between were some of the best moments of my life, and I spent hours busing girls back and forth to the barn, watching them groom, wash, ride, tack, clean stalls and just hang out.

Elvis had several homes during the time he was ours...he loved to be outside, and so an indoor-outdoor stall was our preference. As I wandered along country back roads today, I stopped at one of his former boarding Facilities...now empty, gates barely hanging on fences, brushes and buckets scattered in the barn aisle and the back door of the owners home open and swaying in the rain and breeze. The property was completly abandoned, and felt empty and sad.

This is one angle of the barn that I shot this morning...if I listened carefully, I could still here the girls laughing and talking...and the memories made me smile...

Routine

2010-01-22T20:03:00.001-08:00

Routine

I have been in a routine that is changing...Friday was a day I looked forward to...it had its own special feeling and meaning. Today felt like this picture of junk...fabulous in some ways, not so fab in others. I have learned that I thrive on routine, even when critically thought out is known not to be in my over all best interest...you live you learn.

This is a picture I found last week while scouring the back roads around Napa...it was cold and wet...and fabulous...I will always be attracted to junk...and perhaps that says it all...

Offers on the Table

2010-01-21T19:07:00.000-08:00

Offers on the Table

Another day, another few dollars, and a new offer on the table...where does it end...what does it mean...??? Is it the one I want and will contribute to making me happy?

One of the many amazing things that I have paid attention to in the past 2.5 years is that the next big adventure is just around the corner...and the ringing of the phone and reviewing of my email can result in a direction I did not previously imagine...how is this reconciled....how does it even out?

This is a picture I took this summer ... it reminds my of a piece of rusted metal that is waiting for me in Northern California ... that in my mind would make a killer table...so this, as well as many dreams go on...and on...

Life Goes On...So They Say...

2010-01-20T23:35:00.000-08:00

Life Goes On...So They Say

Today is still Wednesday...though it feels like a ???... I am not sure. My power was off, even though SMUD spent many hours during Fall replacing our 8 block "transformer", to prevent our yearly January multi-hour outage! My vehicle has gone from a 3 figure decimal place to a 4 figure decimal place repair and is still in the shop...and more paperwork is required to reach my goal of emancipation!

This is a picture I entertained myself with on Sunday...the day my life once again changed... I must admit that I will be glad when the "changes" are under reasonable control!!!

Today's Insight

2010-01-19T21:03:00.001-08:00

Today's Insight

It seems like everyday brings a new adventure, and new insight. There are days that I appreciate this, and days I do not.

This afternoon I met an internet friend from my Pug Group...she is from Healdsburg and is staying in Sacramento while her pug is undergoing testing/procedures at UC Davis. We spent this afternoon and evening getting to know each other...she is a writer, and photographer...as well as someone who is married to someone she obviously loves very much, is in a happy relationship with, she glows in her own skin...something I dare to hope in quiet moments could be in my future...and something I have taken special care to screw up...up to this point...withdrawing and flight have become my self protective strategy, and now that I have figured this out, I am charting a new route.

One thing I have struggled with is how someone I loved had what appeared to be many "rules" around "things"...this afternoon it gobsmacked me that the very behavior I found difficult was mirrored by me...though my "rules" centered around how a "relationship" was to be conducted...perhaps a toll of a previous experience that was unpleasant and difficult. It feels great to have finally figured this out...and hopeful that I can do better next time...

This is a picture I took Sunday afternoon, as I drove alone looking for that one shot that would make it better...this barn did that to a point...though not a complete "cigar"...

The future is a mystical thing...and it is said it can be whatever you make it. Next on the agenda...what DO I want...and am I brave enough to make it happen...

Another Saturday in Paradise...

2010-01-16T17:48:00.000-08:00

Another Saturday in Paradise...

This week was busy...SMF to LAX to San Bernadino to ONT to SMF...I was out of practice with packing, security was reasonable now that I know to send my Kindle thru the scanner with my laptop, and Starbuck's is still serving the Pumpkin Spice Latte, and grande was a fabulous one time trial size that made everything better.

Giovanni grew like a small weed in my absence, and has graduated to actually smiling now...so sweet...

This is a picture I took this morning while traveling to the Beach for our weekly visit, and the thrill of watching the pugs jet in circles. These Clydesdales' live in a huge pasture, and yet are nearly always huddled in the front corner near the highway, as if they enjoy watching the people and cars go by. Once we arrive at the Beach, it is entertaining to observe how Hannah, who continues to drag behind during most other walks, and can easily go a couple of miles in the salt air.

I am scheduled to be home for the next couple of weeks, the "to-do" list is long...and I look forward to knocking off a few more lines...

Been Gone So Long I Could Not Remember My Sign-In and Password!

2010-01-10T17:43:00.000-08:00

Been Gone So Long I Could Not Remember My Sign-In and Password!

So what started as intent to share this awesome horse shot I was lucky enough to get today, turned into a 30 minute journey to remember my "login" and correct password for my Blog. Even with the hints I hide away in my iPhone I was still off base...close but no cigar if you will. I am fully aware of my lack of memory now...and hold out little to no hope for the next couple of decades of my life...

Tomorrow I leave for LA, for several days of work, and perhaps a bit of fun...guess I need to get back to earning miles and airline miles...and thinking about where to go next...

Kansas to Home

2009-12-17T12:11:00.000-08:00

Kansas to Home...

After 5 weeks at home, I have had the joy of spending this week in Kansas, and Missouri. It is difficult to track which State you are actually in as the river winds in no particular direction and it is hard to keep track of which side you are on. Nice people, chilly weather, and fried pickles have made for a good week...13 more days to "success"...

United has been good to me, and deposited 9000 miles in my "account" for moving me from First to Business Class...where you can put your feet up, and sip champagne...perhaps I should be "downgraded" more often! I now have over 100,000 miles banked, and am searching for the best location to spend them on...

This is a picture of Giovanni that Laur took and sent yesterday. He has nothing to do with Kansas, though I have missed him in a way I did not know this week. How did we all survive with out the point, shoot and send of photos...which are worth a thousand words. This is such a nice way to stay connected...something that as I sit in airports and watch the World go by I truly appreciate...

A Lazy, Rainy Sunday Morning

2009-12-13T10:02:00.001-08:00

A Lazy, Rainy Sunday Morning

Someone once wrote to me that rainy mornings are best spent in bed...and I agree...though 2 pugs and a cat do not equal other mornings I have had in the past few months...they are my reality this rainy morning...

Today is my Son's 27th Birthday. He has had a full weekend of celebration, and when I spoke to him earlier, he was enjoying brunch out and looking forward to napping most of the afternoon. Some memories for me are like yesterday, and others I have completely lost within 2 minutes. I clearly remember my pregnancy and Matts' birth...holding him, marveling at his perfection at 2 am feedings and enjoying every minute he contributed to making my house a home.

This is a picture of a watercolor I did of him 3 years ago. It is based on how I feel his personality and his love for soccer...it takes in to account his shoulder which was injured in an automobile accident...and his ever lovely orange hair.

Happy Birthday Matt...I love you with all my heart....

Times...They Are a Changing...

2009-12-11T11:28:00.000-08:00

Times...They Are a Changing...

The only constant in my life the past two years has been change, and this Season is no exception. This past year has been one of the most magical and valuable of my adult life...so many things seen...touched...felt...and truly experienced. The one thing I was unsuccessful in was finding that deep...undying connectedness to another human that I have dreamed of...perhaps that is the reality of the World...so I am putting the Universe on notice...I am weaning myself off this fantasy...and I will see where I go from here...I feel lighter already!

This is a picture of the cover of my latest "book"...Views of Santa Fe. Two fabulous trips to Santa Fe within one year, both with very different focus', both lovely and enjoyable. I am proud to say I now have 4 books...and 2 more in the making.

2010 will undoubtably hold new adventures, and I am hoping they will continue to be "book" worthly...

Children, The Gift Continues To Give...

2009-12-09T20:20:00.000-08:00

Children, The Gift That Continues To Give...

This has been a gift week...I am able to sleep in a bit, and work in my bathrobe for as many hours as I please...very nice. When I awoke this morning my Blackberry report a missed call at 5:25 am...not the call I was hoping for...but one from my perfect son...who knows his Mother is never up at 5:25 am unless dictated by travel. I rang him back thinking he had miss-dialed...only to be told he had been in the Emergency Room for several hours, and had broken his foot...oh...and he needed to call me right back.

Famous last words, 2 text messages and 5 hours later, he rings back...damn that adult soccer game. A short version of the game Laur broke her foot ran thru my mind...as I carried all 70 lbs of her off the Field, her foot hanging at an angle I cannot describe...while she shrieked " I want to stay in the game "... lovely memories.

This is a picture he sent me tonight. He had fore warned me during our visit at Thanksgiving...and his explanation was pretty much in alignment with the picture. As a Mother you wonder why this is necessary...and then move on to the next super adventure...love you Matt, and may your foot heal quickly!

Never In A Million Years...

2009-12-08T19:08:00.001-08:00

Never In A Million Years...

Did I think that one very small, new to the Earth person could have such an effect on me. Not that I was not forewarned...I was...numerous times. I am not really a baby person...aside from my own children...though Giovanni has taken my finger that was reworked during Matthews' delivery and wrapped it around him.

This picture was taken when he was 3 days old...today is his one week Birthday. In the short time he has been here, he has reminded me that Family is the heart of life...and he has made me hopeful that I can accomplish the building of a "new Family"...that incorporates all... Lofty goals...decisions to be made and executed...work to be done... All in all...just another "day in the life"...and I am thankful for that...

Giovanni Alexander

2009-12-03T11:32:00.000-08:00

Giovanni Alexander

Well, push came to shove, and Giovanni made his entrance December 1, 2009 at 7:18 in the morning. This followed a Sunday evening admission to the hospital, hours of pitocin, IV's, contractions (contraptions as coined by his Father), huffing, puffing, very little sleep, and an array of other delightful moments...

Laur is the strongest person I know, and she took on this task with her usual zest. The hours of waiting were rewarded with my seeing his head before he entered the World...watching him be guided out, and placed on her belly. To say he is beautiful is an understatement...I did not factor in the emotionalism of watching my child have a child...and there were tears.

This is a picture I took with my iPhone seconds after he was born. Such a special moment...and a reminder of the hope and joy that all of our futures hold...I am looking forward to the new dimension Gio will bring to my life...and a tad bit anxious that I have been putting off personal decisions until he was here safe and sound...which he is...so now I must retrieve my broom, and continue to sweep up my "mess"...which I equate to be similar to labor...painful...though beautiful and life changing when complete...

Random One Week Before Thanksgiving Thoughts, 2009

2009-11-19T17:30:00.000-08:00

Random One Week Before Thanksgiving Thoughts, 2009

Thanksgiving is one week from tonight...2009, where have you gone? So much growth in the past year, so much seen, so many amazing experiences, several really nice people...a different view of my life.

This week has been a gift...time at home, working in my robe, pugs snoring day round, gutters cleaned and leaf-proof, carpets cleaned and "sealed" (we shall see!), studio cleaned out and ready for relaxation and creativity, downstairs organized and ready for Giovanni, several meals with good friends, time to visit with my neighbors, and my son and daughter once again in my home...

There is no doubt that the Holidays feel different this year...partially due to the final few words pending in my old life vs. final few chapters...partially due to the gift of a Grandchild, partially due to my head finally being on straight...and looking forward.

This is a picture I took of Matt when he first moved to Philly...he now has his head on straight, and has created an impressive life for himself in PA. It is interesting to hear him talk about his job, how he likes it, how he is grateful to have a job...I am so proud of him...Tonight he, Laur and I are going to dinner...our first night out in 2 years as a trio...and finally it seems that we are all comfortable with that...a lovely Holiday gift indeed...

Virginia

2009-11-17T21:02:00.001-08:00

Virginia

Virginia is someone who I can count on to tell me the truth, in a kind and caring way. She has never been wrong. She is recovering from yet another bout of pneumonia...and I am checking in on her daily.

Tonight she shared wisdom with me that she had cut from a magazine...

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that and man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these men don't know each other.

Yes I found this hysterical...go figure...though I would have added that it is important for a man to be a fabulous lover...

This is yet another picture of a door (opportunities) taken in China...I am still deciding which door fits me...hopefully the Jury will be back with a verdict soon...

Morning Rituals

2009-11-16T08:47:00.001-08:00

Morning Rituals

For nearly the past 30 years I have been drinking General Foods International House, Orange Cappuccino Instant Coffee every morning...and I do mean every morning...it is my one cup of caffeine that my body tolerates (until Pumpkin Spice Latte Season) , not to mention looks forward too!

For the past year, my coffee has become increasing scarce...Stores that previously carried it no longer did, with my last search ending at Save Mart, where I purchased 5 cans. Yesterday push came to shove and in the coffee isle of my last resort...it was gone.

Though I know that doing or saying the same thing over and over and expecting different results is not productive, I did engage in that behavior by searching each individual can, after the first general visual sweep. Coming to grips with change I opted for the Chai and for the Orange Spice coffee.

I am now sitting at my desk...sipping my morning Orange Spice coffee. 4 o'clock this morning left me wondering how similar it would be to the old flavor...well the verdict is in...it is EXACTLY the same flavor, color and texture...well done General Foods...though knowing this ahead of time could have saved much angst, as well as time, gasoline and mileage...

This is a picture I took in China. It reminded me of this morning...and the lesson...be open to what is behind door numbers 1, 2, and 3....

This Is How I Entertain Myself at the Airport

2009-11-12T16:05:00.001-08:00

This Is How I Entertain Myself at the Airport

The end of a long week always ends at the Airport. Today that is El Paso...one of the strangest places on Earth that I have visited...Security here is tighter than China...go figure...

The Terminal that houses United lacks a bar...instead they have a "hallway" with tables that you can "self serve" your order...and food is not an option. I ended up having an intense conversation with a Funeral Director who thought he may service some of my patients...flashback of "Six Feet Under!"...and a reminder that we are all in the track to become a customer of his, or his associates...good times.

This is a picture I took this afternoon after I had cleared Security. The flags reminded me of the scarves present in China...funny how so many things remind me of that trip...and call me back to those 12 days...I had a conversation about India last night...perhaps that will be my next big adventure...

Orange Boots

2009-11-10T19:08:00.000-08:00

Orange Boots

Tonight came after a very long afternoon...and a frustrating search for the Lucchese Store that had been easily sighted last night. El Paso is a strange place, the landscape is barren, the colors dull, housing is puzzling, and the sunshine is beautiful this time of year...it feels very far away from the life I have in California...almost as if you could disappear here and no one would notice.

I have dreamed of the perfect pair of Lucchese "orange" Cowboy boots since I first saw a "men's" pair over Labor Day at the Feed Store. Tonight, after finally finding THE store, and trying on 21 pairs of boots from these delicious orange to pink, to black, to patent...I was very disappointed that none of the said boots were "comfortable"...the colors and the leather were spectacular...but at this point in my life, some comfort is paramont...so I am sorry to report I am still "Lucchese-less"...so very sad indeed...

Friends. etc...

2009-11-05T21:15:00.000-08:00

Friends, etc...

Today started and ended as the day before my loving charming daughter's Baby Shower. Honestly, I am having a bit of a problem dealing with the fact that I will soon be a Grandmother...I previously thought that was for "old" people...and for the record I do not feel old...I am in the prime of my life...

Friends are folks who love you for who you are...people who understand...that you do not need to "defend or hide" yourself from...and most importantly you do not need to fabricate to gain their acceptance. I am so lucky to have Virginia as a friend...tonight she fed Laur and I, and was a support in one more day of life...she never judges...I can say what I feel and she gets "it"...children are not perfect...and basically life is challenging...as well as rewarding.

One of the many gifts I have learned in the past 2 years is that I must love people for who they are. This is a lesson I am attempting to impart to my Daughter as she makes her way in the World...and is looking forward to the birth of her Son...

This is a picture that I took in China, that was better taken by someone other than me...I love it because it is beautiful...and the colors provide me with an inward smile...

Reality is Slowly Setting In...

2009-11-04T22:19:00.000-08:00

Reality is Slowly Setting In...

Tonight while shopping for Friday's Baby Shower it hit me that my Daughter is really pregnant, and Gio is due to be born soon...not that this fact is not in my face most days...I can "see" that Laur is pregnant...and we talk about it ad-nauseam...though while selecting liquor that she cannot drink for the Shower, and picking up formula, diapers, wipes, baby shampoo, and super Maxi Pads...I finally get it...I am going to be a Grandmother, whether my driver's license verifies I meet the age criteria or not.

This is a picture of a horse posted on a street sign in China. It reminded me of the days and nights that were spent loving and caring for Elvis...our Welsh Pony...great times of being Mom and Daughter focused on a magnificent creature who bonded us in a common interest and passion...and now Laur will have the opportunity to create those memories with Gio...and hopefully I can tag along for a bit of the ride....

Denver

2009-11-02T19:44:00.000-08:00

Denver

Most weeks lately have included a plane change in Denver...this week it was my final destination. I know the United Terminal well...there is a fabulous cosmetics store and as airport food goes, a tasty Mexican Bar with killer margaritas. The Terminal is long enough that you can walk, and get your "airplane" legs undone...then there is the "Pet Store", all kinds of items representing all kinds of dogs...and finally several jewelry and art shops that are interesting to browse.

As I continue to make decisions as to where I might want to be next year at this time, Denver appears on my list. Many positives including cost of living, more mid Country, several great friends already located here, direct flights to nearly everywhere...and 4 hours to Philly and 2 hours to Sacramento.

This is a picture I took on my way home from Atlanta last week as I cruised to Sacramento via Denver. Amazing that in spite of the "rice" and "de-icing", my flight was actually early into SMF. So I guess I will add "competent airline people" to the Denver list...truly a good thing...

Shopping for Postpartum Items

2009-10-31T16:10:00.001-07:00

Shopping for Post Partum Items

My lovely, charming daughter will be giving birth to my 1st Grandchild within the next 5 weeks. After yesterday's trip to the Baby Store, I have figured out there are several things that she will need postpartum, that are not in her daily wardrobe.

The list is as follows:
1. underwear that function as "underwear"
2. Pajamas that are functional, not "Victoria's Secret"
3. Slippers that are "non skid"
4. A bathrobe that is comfy, and covers most...

I hit the outlets today with a patient friend. I must admit I took great pleasure in purchasing "Granny panties" that will accommodate postpartum requirements...and was lucky enough to find the perfect fluffy robe, and a pair of polka dot pajamas...complete with the whole button up the front thing that will be necessary for those late night, early morning breast feedings.

This is a picture of Gio's Dad's hands over Laur's pregnant tummy. I took this when she was about 6 months...a note to self that I need to take another...

As each day marches by, it is evident that Gio is coming...and today we became a step closer to being ready...

Full Circle

2009-10-30T10:18:00.000-07:00

Full Circle

I have come to learn that some of the best gifts come when you are not expecting them. My morning was like that...and now several hours later my lovely, perfect Son emails me this picture of my Father, and himself.

My Father is in Philly this week for a meeting. He called me while I was enjoying Atlanta, as did my Son. I had wished that they would catch up...though was not too hopeful given both of their busy schedules...and then this arrives...how fantastically special...and to add frosting to this cake...my Son is WEARING the scarf I bought for him last year in New York...truly a red letter moment!

Pug O Ween...and so the Psychic says...

2009-10-25T18:06:00.001-07:00

Pug O Ween...and so the Psychic says...

For several years now I have worked as a Volunteer for our annual PugSaver's fundraiser. Each year becomes more fun, and I have made some very special friends. Today was our 2009 Event...in Lodi, in a beautiful outdoor Facility...what a great day.

The highlight of the Event is my reading by the Psychic. The first year I participated, I lost some of my "doubting Thomas" attitude when she was spot on several things that she could not have known about my life. Last year's reading is still waiting to bear fruit in some ways...and this year's was the best ever, amongst several other predictions she relayed an overall forecast of my returning next year and telling her that I had won the "lottery" of life...a true richness of happiness...obviously I am thrilled...how nice would that be!

This is another picture from China, taken on the street by the Silk Market...a very interesting place. The red and pink remind me of happiness...and I look forward to my "lottery"...

Today is the First Day of the Rest of My Life

2009-10-24T10:56:00.001-07:00

Today is the First Day of the Rest of My Life

I have spent the week reviewing my philosophical views of life, trying to develop a "go forward" strategy...without complete success. Somewhere in the past two years I have achieved patience...and have lost the "need to know now"...I realized this week that I may be a little to far out on that limb...and "undecided" is a completely comfortable place.

This is a picture of the door of the Yuenfen Gallery in Beijing...I love the half full circle...it understands me...

The Frustrations of Technology

2009-10-23T16:56:00.001-07:00

The Frustrations of Technology

Luckily I am still vibrantly aware of the feeling of being in China. I spent the majority of the day recalling my journey as I dealt with my technological world that is now spiraling out of control. My loaner computer arrived today...bless the soul who found and shipped it. Initially the on and off button only functioned in the off position, I was locked out because I did not know the correct user code, I cannot load my phone card or printer as there is no CD/DVD drive...only a disk drive and it is slow as molasses in January...

Attempting to file my expense report, a usual 1.5 hour process took just over 3 hours today as the system had been revised and improved...just how I am not sure...and finally...I cannot get into my Outlook calendar as I am not "authorized". So for now I am taking the rest of the night off...and will begin battle again with the Beast when I can emotionally deal with it.

This is a picture I took in the 798 Art Complex in Beijing...and example of the interesting graffiti that graced the sides of some of the buildings. I love the colors and the expression...and the memory of a fabulous time...

Back to Reality, Where I Will Be Living for Awhile...

2009-10-22T16:44:00.000-07:00

Back to Reality, Where I Will Be Living for Awhile...

I have had a perfect 2 weeks of fantasy...in China, where truly I did leave most of my every day World behind...with the exception of my lovely, charming, pregnant daughter...

The colors, textures, history, bustle and people of China are amazing...there is not enough space or time today to diagram all that I saw, felt, and experienced...a representation can be seen via my photo website...www.photothree65.com

One of the many highlights of China is the whole "non-toilet" system...otherwise known as a porcelain hole is the ground that one must "squat" over...not for the faint of heart or faint of knees...and by the way, byotp (bring your own toilet paper!)

This picture perfectly documents my return to work today...which went well until I fired up my computer only to be told that it contained "no bootable devices", in other words...the hard drive had crashed. This statement was only outdone by my Company "Helpdesk"...who asked if I wanted them to "try" to retrieve my data, and when my last "backup" was...(are you kidding me?) So here I sit, waiting for the arrival of my "loaner" computer, wondering if this is a sign similar to when my office burned to the ground taking 15 years of documents with it...is it time to take a different course...

I give the Universe a round of applause...this certainly was a spot on welcome back...

Two Days...and a trip to China

2009-10-06T19:40:00.000-07:00

Two Days...and a trip to China

I am leaving for China on Thursday morning...and wondering how this was arranged. The dynamic of my life has changed exponentially...and I am wondering how this previous commitment fits to my current point of view...I guess I will figure it out.

This is a picture of a horse head and horse butt that I was lucky enough to catch over Labor Day...I love the black and fawness of the picture...it reminds me of Jack and Hannah...

I Need to Get Back to Business...

2009-10-05T19:56:00.001-07:00

Getting Back to Business

Hello World, I am back. I cannot promise daily logins, though I will promise to do better than the last months. Thank you to the two "friends" who asked about my status, and encouraged me to return...you are both priceless...

You would think by now that I would be more together. Sad to say this is not so...my heart and soul now know in now in advance, though my head is late to catch up with messages from those around me. The past couple of years have resulted in my becoming open and adopting a better view...and the dynamic is shifting...again to the better...though more energy is going out than I believe is coming...

This is a picture of a Church, near a Medical Center in Philly, taken 2 weeks ago. I was lucky enough to work in Philly and have dinner with my son 2 weeks in a row...it was wonderful!

Beijing

2009-08-10T21:17:00.001-07:00

Beijing

I may be going to Beijing...on the adventure of a lifetime...if I am approved for a Visa, and if my Boss grants me the time to enjoy. I applied today for my Visa, and await approval...my treasured Passport is in San Francisco in the hands of those who will decide if my past allows me my future.

This is the closest photo I have taken that portrays my imagined look of China...it was taken in Shoshone...on the way home from a life changing trip to Death Valley. My tide is changing, and finally feels as if a I can feel a direction that includes love, faith and happiness...tonight I am feeling just plain lucky...and that is very nice...

A Walk in the Park...

2009-08-09T18:21:00.000-07:00

A Walk in the Park

This morning yielded a nice walk at the Dog Park. I ran into a gentleman who was owned by a part pug, part terrier...with the name of Jack, whose back end looked like my Jack, and front end had a terrier type nose. He had gotten "Jack" from PugSavers, and recounted his initial meeting with then "Blake...or Drake"...Jack now rules the roost...and is adored by the man, and by his wife. In a time where so many animals are coming into Rescue, and going out more slowly...it was great to unexpectedly see such a happy ending.

On the flip side...my Jack decided to show the World that I belonged to him by marking me as his own during a conversation I was having with a multi-cultural dog owner...guess I have been traveling a little too much lately...

This is a picture I took in Paris last week...a tree on the side of the roadway...it was as close to a Park picture as I could drum up on short notice...

Home

2009-08-07T11:07:00.001-07:00

Home

Funny how on day you can be in Europe and one day you are back home. Such difference yet such the sameness...things to attend to like ivy and snails...mail and bills...grocery shopping and cleaning out (again) the fridge...laundry and making time to swing by the dry cleaners...and most importantly...enjoying each minute prior to returning to real life come Monday morning.

This is a picture I shot in Paris. It is a very large (huge) mural that covers a side of the Louis Vuitton experience in Paris...3 stories, everything from purses to shoes to clothes to belts, scarves, and other essentials...a very nice place for eye shopping...though not too pocket book friendly in this current economy...

Wicked

2009-08-05T00:29:00.001-07:00

Wicked

Today was pack up, taxi from the Barcelona Hotel to the Barcelona Airport, plane to Heathrow, train from Heathrow to Paddington Station, hotel check in, a quick Cosmo and light dinner, hopping the Tube to the Theater, and the pleasure of seeing Wicked. Victoria had told me during her last visit home that she had seen Wicked nearly 20 times...I could not imagine...

This is a picture I took the day before in Paris. The green of the bushes is the closest shot I have that simulates the color of the Wicked Witch's skin...though the Play does make you re-think the whole "wicked witch thing". The music and costuming were exceptional...and I walked away feeling much better about the whole Oz experience...and the not so subtle reminder that everything can yield more than one point of view...and consideration with kindness is important....

An Orange Tub

2009-08-04T08:54:00.001-07:00

An Orange Tub

The decision to buy an orange (Felt) bike a year and a half ago has resulted in a mild obsession that I did not previously have. In the scheme of color, orange previously was not on my top ten list...though my Felt changed that and now I notice and am drawn to most things orange.

Touring Barcelona and paying attention to its beautiful buildings and architecture, I nearly missed this shot of an orange bath tub...and now having seen it (trust me, I had not imagined a tub might come in orange) I want one! Had I not been riding on the second level of the bus, and had I been confident I could afford shipping on cast iron...that tub would be on its way to me as I type... as I design my next living space in my mind, which is coming into view as the now foreseeable future...I am dreaming of an orange tub...picture to be post asap....

Graffiti

2009-08-04T01:15:00.001-07:00

Graffiti

It started with the Stephen Sprouse Louis Vuitton...and continues on the streets of Barcelona...graffiti...who knew...

Yesterday while walking the downtown streets of Barcelona, and shooting the 5,oooth "interesting building" I came face to face with graffiti. It is everywhere here, doors, walls, alleyways, sides of buildings and the more I saw, the crazier I became about capturing as much as possible...I am a phase-ical person (who also makes up her own words!). Today I am looking forward to shooting much more...it absolutely screams BOOK!

This is one of the first murals I saw yesterday...once my eyes opened...if I complete the cycle I really should do some research to better understand what the murals are trying to say to me...guess I will add it to the list...

Citroen

2009-08-03T00:34:00.001-07:00

Citroen

One of many things that I am loving about my life right now is my ability to get excited about the oddest things. Today while walking the streets of Paris (did I really just type that?!) we stumbled across the Citroen Dealership. Not really being a Citroen Fan, I took one for the Team and entered the store with feigned enthusiasm...until I saw the red, the race cars, the geometric windows, the white boxes strung from the ceiling and 5 beautiful stories of great "stuff", ending with a movie theater broadcasting Citroen racing video. If you were brave enough to climb the stairs to the 5th Floor (which I happily did) you were rewarded with the luxury of electric massage chairs...good massage chairs!

This is a shot from the 2nd floor stairwell up to the 5th floor ceiling. Thank goodness for my G10...any other camera may not have been up for the 83 photos I took...each bringing me more joy than the previous one...continuing the journey of self amazement...

d'Orsay

2009-08-01T09:09:00.000-07:00

d'Orsay

Paris is art upon art. It is in the buildings, the grounds, the furnishings and housed in many venues. The runner up to art here is food...and for the moment I am eating my way thru Paris, though down 2 pounds from when I left home...must be the walking and the air itself...either that or the bread and cheese here carries less calories than at home.

This is a shot inside the d'Orsay. The Master's are astounding, and the Museum itself is just beautiful...thoughtfully planned to live up to the art it displays. I feel humbled to have seen so many originals...in a relaxed environment in which truly allows absorbtion and enjoyment of the work...truly an amazing place...

Eye of the Lighthouse

2009-07-31T09:42:00.001-07:00

Eye of the Lighthouse

Next to the Eiffel Tower is the Maritime Museum. With the size of most sites here, it is one of the few that does not seem overwhelming from the outside, and gives you the impression that you will be able to comfortably walk the entire exhibit. The weather here is perfect and there is so much to see and photograph.

This is a picture I took inside the Museum of the glass lens that once was the "Eye" of a Lighthouse. I got lucky with the colors! It is of interest that cameras and picture taking is allowed and encouraged inside the Museum...really a lovely gift...

If this is Thursday, it must be London

2009-07-30T09:55:00.001-07:00

It this is Thursday, it must be London

Time is a little fuzzy from the flying and changing time. Today is Thursday and I am in London, at least until departing for Paris. Breakfast this morning was excellent, and it is seldom that I am that hungry and consume food with such gusto. I had forgotten how crazy scrambled eggs and baked beans sounds...and how delicious they taste...sounds more like a camping meal than a City meal...

This is a picture I shot in during the cab ride to the International Train Station. It is a portion of the large bus that transports, and regularly cuts off the cab, and causes the Driver to curse. The number of moving people here is less than I remember during my last trip, and less than I expected. I will be adding "train stations" to my list of favorites...though still behind rust and peeling paint.

London Train Station

2009-07-29T08:49:00.001-07:00

London Train Station

London to Paris via the train is a pretty nice way to travel. Security is present, though lax by US Airport standards, and the Police who checked my Visa forgot to look at my face. There is a Card Store that sported two of my new favorite cards...the first saying "it is great to get old...unless you are a banana" and the second saying "for a woman's birthday she wants flowers, jewelery, cake, dinner out, cards, and other precious gifts", for a man's birthday the woman should show up naked and bring beer." Is is any wonder the divorce rate is what it is...why did I not learn that in school!...though better late than never...

This is a picture of the 2nd floor of the London International Train Station...such a pretty and energetic place...

JFK

2009-07-23T05:52:00.000-07:00

JFK

Some days my life is so confusing to even me, and some days it is so clear. My head seems to be on a little straight the past couple of days, though you might not see that with the hump in my back that Emily will fix tomorrow. Something about being on the East Coast makes me feel a bit more alive, and tonight as I sit at JFK in the 5ivesteak Bar I feel pretty happy.

This is a picture from the train that I took a bit ago...it continues to rain here...something that I have not seen in months, and escaping the heat of Sacramento has been great.

On a side note, my daughter phoned today...the first time because the house alarm was going off, the second time because she had just had another ultrasound featuring Giovanni...who as of late may so far be the most ultrasounded "Peterson/Bannon/Flores" in history. As she proudly reported that he has a heart, brain, 2 kidneys and a bladder (Yah!) it struck me as it has before that he is really coming. The Doctor said he was "long"...not really a Peterson trait (sorry Dad!) ... so perhaps he will be early (and healthy) arriving at Thanksgiving when Mogy is here...today I feel aware of how blessed I am...and that is a great thing...

Jusst When I Think...

2009-07-22T16:43:00.000-07:00

Just When I Think....

Just when I think I have seen it all...there is a feeling, situation, or general outrageousness that reminds me that when you live...you learn...

Suffice it to say that someday I will figure it out...though when that will occur is up to the Universe...and my menopausal being. This past week, actually the past 2 years have been lumpy, and just when I thought I had committed to going right...left seems the direction I have been chosen for...once again I will see how that works out for me...

This is a picture I shot today...in New York...where I am working. It is of interest to me that someone thought it was necessary to lock up toilet paper...and made me wonder...with all of the World's current challenges...why would locking up toilet paper be thought about or even necessary...??? Candidly, is this the product that is now so valuable that I should consider it as an investment dream of opportunity and my current retirement plan!!! Is this the clue of a shi**y, or pis*y life!!!???

Rain

2009-07-21T16:47:00.000-07:00

Rain

One of the advantages of travel is getting to see things that are not your norm. This was especially true this morning when of all things I saw and felt rain...quite different from the 113 degrees I was barely breathing thru in Sacramento.

This is a quick shot of the puddles in the parking lot as we left for the day...not remarkable by themselves...though a nice site that makes me look forward to Fall...

Are You Kidding Me?

2009-07-20T16:53:00.001-07:00

Are You Kidding Me?

Airports are becoming comfortable for me...and I am finding things of interest to keep me busy. Today's connection in Minnesota was a surprise, and for that I must thank my Travel Department. Who knew you could fly to NYC on such a tiny plane.

This is a shot from my seat looking forward. 1 seat on the left and 2 on the right...First Class...and 5 seats across main cabin. My trusty carry on was not carry on-able...it was possessed on the boarding ramp, and returned "plane side" in New York. I could not stand in front of my aisle seat...something I can easily do in a regularly sized plane.

On the up side...the close quarters made for two new friends...one from Denver, and one from Minnesota. Who said flying was not fun??

Another Run

2009-07-18T17:02:00.001-07:00

Another Run...

Another day, another run. While the rose caught my attention yesterday, today's focus really is more me. Believe it or not, this is a picture of the ground, mixed with some pollen like material.

Same music, same route, different perspective...when you think about it...life is truely amazing!

Running

2009-07-17T14:39:00.001-07:00

Running

I am still running as often as I can. Work and travel interfer with what has become a comfortable routine for me. I think my favorite part is the scenery and the music...I would not be able to run if not for the brilliance of iTunes.

This is a picture I took of a rose bush I ran by this morning. The smell was sweet and reminded me a bit of pineapple...and I enjoyed listening to my new favorite "Theory of a Deadman"...crazy title...great music...

It is HOT!

2009-07-14T16:32:00.000-07:00

It is HOT!

Summer in Sacramento...is HOT...and a yearly reminder that there must be more climate friendly places to live.

This is a picture of SNOW, that I took on Saturday while enjoying Mount Lassen. I am seriously considering blowing it up poster size, and hanging it in many rooms...just as a reminder...

Monday

2009-07-13T20:24:00.001-07:00

Monday

Monday pales in comparison to the weekend...and the experience of fishing and floating. The smell of pine is much more pleasant than the smell of Sacramento heat...and I am missing the elements of my weekend life tonight...though glad to be not traveling and listening to pug snores...

This is a picture I shot at the cabin on Saturday...the side of the house with a glimpse of the float tube technically hanging off of the truck. I am thrilled with the colors...and the memories...

Forest for the Trees

2009-07-12T20:59:00.000-07:00

Forest for the Trees

I have been intrigued by the saying "you cannot see the forest for the trees"...at least that is how I remember it. Friday brought a beautiful drive to Mineral...a portion of which was slowed down by the efficient operation of Cal Trans...which lead to being able to "see" the scenery in a manner that could be appreciated.

Though it is a rare occasion I appreciate being stopped in the name of progress (Cal Trans)...it was nice to have the opportunity to see the Forest...and the Trees...

Lassen

2009-07-11T16:45:00.001-07:00

Lassen

Saturday brought a trip to Mt Lassen. Who knew what fascinating sights awaited me...boiling mud, steam poring out from the mountain, Emerald Lake, and a beautiful blue lake whose name escapes me as I type. The most amazing part was the snow that was still present...and the need for a light weight jacket.

This is a picture of a rock on the mountain. Many beautiful views that take your breath away, and the reminder of how powerful and beautiful nature truly is...

Fishing

2009-07-10T16:39:00.001-07:00

Fishing

Friday and Saturday night was spent fishing. Who knew that you fished at night? During my formative years fishing was done frequently, and an all day uncomfortable event...that is another story though. Fishing for trout is actually quiet pleasant. The float tube is a miracle invention that when combined with the correct clothes and shoes is really quite remarkably relaxing and fun.

I was proud to have caught a tree on Saturday night...along with wrapping line around my boot and flipper which was covertly attended to by a passing boat...you could see the men chucking at the "blond" with the tangled twine, though the highlight was my call to Jen on the cellie...and the "are you on a cellphone" belly laughs! Hey, a girl has to do what a girl has to do...

This is a picture of beautiful twisted rusty metal near the cabin...some things do not change for me...and the amazing things I have been shown over the past months continue to delight and blow me away...

Las Vegas

2009-07-09T11:48:00.000-07:00

Las Vegas

I am in Vegas for work, and still loving my photos of Unionville. The weather is and breezy...and the Facility we are visiting is in a beautiful building that is mostly glass, and does not have any rust or peeling paint.

This is a picture I shot in Unionville...I will be sad when how much I love these pictures fade...though perhaps there is something equally as compelling around the corner...

Mirage

2009-07-07T15:47:00.001-07:00

Mirage

Today I woke up in Los Angeles...El Segundo to be specific. I am here for a meeting, and in the process of the day, I received the wonderful gift of praise from someone I truly respect...previously someone I did not respect had words that were not easy to hear regarding the same product...and I had actually forgotten that I had produced this piece of work until today...in the Women's Room...while washing and drying! Sad to say but I felt a bit redeemed...and internally glorious!

This is a picture I took this morning while looking out my Hotel window. I love how one building reflects the other while giving the impression that they are one. Someday I hope to find this in my life...a reflection, and the feeling of oneness...though perhaps I am living in my own mirage.

And the dreaming continues...

More Rust

2009-07-06T21:41:00.000-07:00

More Rust

The rust of Unionville continues...and I cannot get enough of it. This is a picture of the side metal room...with a view of the Valley behind off to the side. I love how the air smells, the wind feels and the people just are.

Yesterday I shot an AK 47, and a Glock. I have a whole new vocabulary now...clip, firing line, magazine (not the kind I drool over the latest shoes). I know how to look down the site, the proper hand placement (though I am a bit wobbley), have had the theory of how a bullet is shot out of a gun explained to me, touched the spent shell and "bullet" that has gone thru the target and learned the theory of not pointing the gun at others and knowing where it is at all time...which is a challenge for the menopausal woman.

And may I say...riding an ATV down the gravel roads with dust coating my flying hair is a very nice way to travel...

Another Lucious Day in Unionville

2009-07-05T19:50:00.000-07:00

Another Lucious Day in Unionville

As the weekend purr-ed on...the company and the conversations only got better. One thing I am greatful for every day is the stories of the patients I serve. While dialysis is no picnic, it does allow many to spend time with loved ones, and live a life that would not be possible without functioning kidneys. I was lucky enough to meet several brave and inspirational people in Unionville, and hear their stories...a constant reminder that life is not easy, and everyone in their own way struggles...I will stop short of the "We are the World" song...

This is a picture I shot outside the Schoolhouse/Bar...an old wheel, with junk piled behind it. Again, the rust and peeling paint speak to me in a way few other things do. I am growing up in many ways, and have lost the necessity to "run"...it is great to finally feel that my skin fits...life is good...

4th of July Parade

2009-07-04T09:47:00.000-07:00

Fourth of July Parade

It has been several years since I have been interested in the 4th of July. When Matt and Laur where little, it was my favorite Holiday, next to Halloween. As they grew, the day shifted from celebrating food and beverage with friends and the anticipation of ooohhh's and aaahhh's as the Dad's jockeyed for position with lighting of firework's...to the "drive by" of maturing children off to hang with their own crowd.

This year brought a trip to Unionville, an amazing place without cell phone service, paved roads, street lights, grocery stores, Starbuck, and most other modern things. It did have delicious homemade food, comfy beds, chairs for obtaining mental health on the decks. The bugs were reasonable as long as you did not factor in the "crickets" which really seemed more like huge, ugly beetles to me.

This is a picture I took of the Town Parade...nothing better than a decorated tractor...nice people...and an open bar policy...

Every So Often

2009-07-03T11:50:00.001-07:00

Every So Often

Every so often, I shoot something that I am excited about, and my last excusion provided me with 20 images that I love. Unionville provided more rust, peeling paint and metal I have seen since the Gas Pump Palace on the way to Taos.

This is a picture of a keep right sign that is propped against the front bumper of a lovely old truck...complete with rust and peeling paint...

Pre-Unionville

2009-07-02T21:35:00.001-07:00

Pre-Unionville

As sometimes happens, I am running behind in my postings...my real day job interfering with my fantasy art life.

This is one of the 20 pictures that I shot in Unionville...more rust and peeling paint. I could shoot there forever and not be bored...taking inspiration from my Sweetie...and the ever present rust and peeling paint...

Alfredo

2009-07-01T22:05:00.001-07:00

Alfredo

Tonight brought the gift of dinner with at my Daughter's...myself, her boyfriend, his mother and her father. His mother was a last minute addition, and I must say I am proud that she is incorporating all into her life. She made a delicious pasta and chicken alfredo sauce...and yes I know I need an expanded version of spell check! The girls ajourned upstairs to ooh and ahh over baby clothes and baby furniture...and the men cleaned up...something her father was always very good at...and that her boyfriend could use some coaching with.

This is a picture taken earlier this year...it is the side of a gas pump...it really has nothing to do with Alfredo, or this evening...though I really like the colors, and the memories of that trip...

Slippery When Wet

2009-06-30T18:19:00.000-07:00

Slippery When Wet

I have been going through my photos that I have taken over the past year and one half. I am enjoying the memories of sights seen and explored, as well as the occasional "where in the heck did that come from" photo.

"Slippery When Wet" describes how I am feeling about my "schedule" lately...pending travel, trying to upgrade the house alarm, have SMUD check the power outlets that are not working, continuing to clean out and pare down my earthly possessions, figure out (Jesus!) why the "automatic" in automatic sprinklers is not working, organize my studio, call the Hauler to take care of the contents of the dreaded garage and many more etc projects...and most importantly...have fun!

Who knew my 50's would be the nice...